Marital bliss can quickly take a downward spiral when one discovers certain physical and behavioral changes in their better half. An addiction to drugs can cause spontaneous and unpleasant changes to your spouse in many ways even with their attempts to conceal the situation from you. It is a fact that illicit drug use can negatively impact marital satisfaction and can be a problem for both genders. The use of drugs has contributed significantly to the dissolution of many marriages; this is because of the feigned commitment and incessant physical and emotional instability that the wife may have to endure in these situations.
Addiction can be regarded as chink in the armor of a near-perfect marriage as living with an addicted spouse can present uncertainties, anxiety, despair, and other problems. According to statistics, drugs and AUD is one of the highest causes of divorce in the US. The predictions for more divorce cases in the future are extremely high due to the ever-increasing cases of addiction to drugs.
There are fundamental issues that lead to an addiction in a marriage that must be addressed one way or another; these challenges could be related to an existing addiction before marriage, peer pressure, career problems, dissatisfaction in one’s own life, a health issue related to consistent physical pain, and many more. Whatever the reason that led to drug addiction, it would place a significant strain on the relationship and may prompt one’s partner to seek dissolution to the marriage unless they get proper counseling on how to face these situations.
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Signs That Your Husband Is a Drug Addict
Personality traits may differ from one individual to the other, and one of the biggest challenges with a spouse who is addicted to drugs is coming to the realization that they are completely and helplessly addicted to these substances; realizing that the situation is severe. Confronting your husband with the clause that he may be an addict may come off as hurtful and spiral into a chain of unpleasant conversations; there are better ways to go about it. However, there has to be concrete evidence that he is, without doubt, addicted to drugs. What are the signs that your husband is addicted to drugs? Some common signs of addiction to drugs are:
He may spend more time by himself, and having long conversations may seem tedious to him. There is usually a form of emotional disconnection and distance in thoughts even when both individuals are in the same space.
2. Financial Problems
This may not be the case for every spouse that uses drugs but those of a lower income may find that a major portion of their income goes into securing more drugs. If your spouse gets financially stranded all the time, without visible proof of where the money goes, this can be a sign that he has an addiction to drugs.
3. Loss of Interest
A person who may be known to live an active lifestyle with a lot of hobbies, interests, skills, talents, and other activities that they may be enthusiastic about may find themselves losing interest in them for no specific reason, this includes people as well.
4. Physical Changes
The consistent use of drugs will inadvertently lead to alterations in physical appearances such as weight loss or weight gain, suppressed appetite, unstable eating habits, and a sudden change in the clothes they wear. Other physical signs may include; bloodshot (red) eyes, puffy face, random itching, dilated pupils, injection marks, bluish-colored lips and fingertips, sniffling, changes in skin color, and others.
5. Mood swings
Rapid mood swings, dare-devil attitude, aggressiveness, hyper personality, and erratic mood swings are a common trait with individuals who are addicted to drugs. This behavior means that the drug has a great effect on the central nervous system and can lead to severe mental issues in the long run if left unchecked.
6. Sleep Habits
Sleeping when everyone is awake and staying awake for long hours (insomnia) while everyone else is asleep is a sign of a sleeping disorder. Many drugs are stimulants and keep a person awake for extended periods of time until the effects wear off.
7. Finding Drug Paraphernalia
Most drugs come with some form of packaging, kit, or assisting materials such as wrappings, burnt spoon, pipes, lighters, bongs, rizla, syringes, and other items that can be connected to drug use. Finding these materials hidden is a sign that your husband could be addicted to using drugs
A drug addict husband may become apprehensive, aggressive, and refuse all forms of advice from their spouse. In many cases, wives usually have a hard time getting their husbands sober. So, how does a person deal with her drug-addict husband?
How to Help Your Addicted Husband
- Seek professional help and counseling from a qualified medical professional
- Stage an intervention by including friends and families to help convince your husband that he needs medical help
- Attend marriage counseling sessions
- Do not enable your spouse by showing acts of kindness while they are using the drugs; such as helping them get more drugs or assisting with money to secure more drugs.
- Educate yourself on how drug addictions work, its stages, and how to manage them in critical cases.
- Be firm and clear about your position and emotional concerns towards his addiction. Make them understand the health dangers and how dangerous this habit is to the marriage.
- Set ultimatums to make him take you more seriously and make sure to go through with them.
- Show kindness and support in helping him get back on his feet by seeking the best help that is tailored to his condition
There is a recurring mistake on what “helping your spouse” means and this often leads to more problems instead of a solution. One has to take into consideration the habits and level of addiction as well as its underlying causes before choosing how to render help. There are a few actions or inactions that may seem like “help” but they aren’t. Here are a couple of things that you should never do to help your husband’s addiction:
- Do not be quick to offer succor when he commits a crime while intoxicated by the drug
- Do not make excuses or cover up his habits to make him feel better
- Do not ignore marital issues such as physical and emotional abuse
- Do not use drugs with them
- Be completely honest with your spouse when it comes to your feelings about their habit
- Do not compromise your health or that of anybody else for your spouse’s addiction
- If you set an ultimatum and you do not keep to it, this is a sign that you probably never will, and he will not make conscious efforts to quit.
- Never blame yourself for your husband’s decision to use drugs
- Never judge or blame him for his situation, rather, show empathy and kindness
Millions of people worldwide are struggling with addiction to drugs. A good number of these populations are married. It is possible to survive addiction in marriage without the need for a divorce. Getting your husband some medical help is the best way to tackle drug addiction. Do not try to make your spouse quit a drug addiction without professional supervision as the repercussions might be very problematic. Simply find the right rehab facility for him; an addiction treatment program can help get your spouse back on his feet.
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